Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Vampire movies generally suck.

Ask yourself, when was the last time you watched a good vampire movie?  Twilight?  Please, no offense to Stephenie Meyer, but a vampire that glitters in the sun?  Oh I am sure that if I were a twelve year old girl who has never been kissed, I would probably think it was the greatest story ever told.  What prompted this rant, was last nights futile attempt to watch a movie.  I have all the movie channels, HBO, Starz, Showtime. I even have Encore.  As I scrolled through the list of movies, I couldn't find one that could  keep my attention past the ten minute mark.

So I started thinking about the question I started this blog with. When was the last time I watched a good vampire move?  I had to go all the way back to 1987's The Lost Boys.  Now there have been some good movies, like 30 days of Night, and I am Legend.  However, I rank them in a different category, more of Sci-fy Zombie area. I do want to acknowledge a vampire movie that I liked, but should have it's own category as well; Let the Right one In. Now what category to place it in, I will leave that up to you.

For me, a good vampire movie has to have, what has made the genre so popular since Bram Stoker took a pen to paper. I of course am talking about sex.  If you think about the vampire kiss, it has an embrace, penetration and an exchange of bodily fluids.

True Blood or the novels on which it is based comes the closest to what I consider vampires to be like.  Even that series, falls into the same old tired vampire clichés. The stake through the heart and vampire turns to ash; It's tired and so over done. A bite can turn you into a vampire. The whole world would be vampires by now. The one I think I hate most is sleeping in a coffin or underground.   In the world I would create, the vampire would be nearly god like, walk in the sun, sleep in a bed and off course, they would enjoy sex very much; just like us.

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